Is your marriage over?

According to the latest data from the UK Office of National Statistics, over 40% of all marriages end in divorce. While all relationships have their ups and downs, there are many who are deeply unhappy in their marriage and wondering if it’s time to move on. Here we explore the most common reasons for couples to go their separate ways, steps which can help to save a marriage and how to cope when the decision to part is one-sided.

The most common reasons for marriage breakdown

While individual circumstances vary there are several common reasons for ending a marriage.

These include:

• Repeated patterns of emotional, financial and/or physical abuse
• Addiction issues that impact the stability of the marriage
• Repeated patterns of both physical and emotional infidelity or the start of a major affair
• A pattern of blaming each other for what is wrong with the marriage, with neither party able to accept personal responsibility for why it is breaking down
• An inability to move on from past hurts
• A lack of trust and respect between you
• No energy to try and repair the relationship and address the emotional distance between you

Feelings of confusion

Many people live in a constant state of ‘Should I stay or should I go.’ Often this is simply a way to delay the inevitable. In this case, confusion is used to mask what we know we need to do but are scared to do, owing to the potential consequences. If you feel stuck in this mode it can help to talk to a marriage guidance counsellor on an individual basis to help uncover your true feelings.

Can the marriage be saved?

If both parties are totally committed to saving the relationship and can put past hurts and behaviours behind them, it is possible to rebuild trust and respect. Do seek help and support where needed, particularly from marriage guidance counselling and individual counselling.

What to do if the decision is one-sided

Sadly, it might only be one of you that wants to split up. If you are the one wanting to end the marriage do seek professional advice from a family lawyer before you start the process. This will arm you with the legal advice needed to protect yourself and your family in the fallout of divorce.

If your partner decides they want to end the relationship, again the advice of a family lawyer can be invaluable. They will help you to understand and prepare for the impact that a divorce will have on your specific circumstances, along with working out the best outcome for you and your family.

When to consult a family lawyer

It’s important to appreciate that you do not have to have decided on divorce or separation before consulting a family lawyer. If you are thinking about divorce, a consultation can be empowering as you will come away understanding how a split will impact your life. This can be reassuring or can help you to decide to commit to trying to save the relationship.

If you are struggling with issues arising from separation and divorce, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £150 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at info@tisshawssolicitors.co.uk or complete the form below.