A guide to digital infidelity

Digital communication has transformed the way in which we contact and connect with each other. While it is a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends and family scattered across the globe, it can also make it easy to begin a digital relationship with someone other than your partner.

What is digital infidelity?

Infidelity is a betrayal of someone’s trust. Traditional forms of infidelity involve secret meetings, physical/sexual and/or emotional involvement with someone other than your partner. Digital infidelity works in the same way. When one half of a couple starts an online relationship with someone new and hides it from their partner, it is known as digital infidelity.

While some use a self-serving rationalisation of their behaviour, such as, it’s no big deal, we’ve never even met, the intimacy, closeness and shared feelings they have built with the other person constitutes emotional infidelity.

Although many people already in a relationship will be actively looking for online intimacy with another, for some it may start with innocent communication and build to something more emotionally compelling. However, whatever the person’s initial intent, without full disclosure to their partner of what they are doing they are being digitally unfaithful.

What constitutes digital infidelity?

The types of behaviours that constitute digital infidelity include:

• Hiding online communication from your partner.
• Developing an online relationship that threatens and undermines your main relationship.
• Using online dating apps to meet new people without your partner’s knowledge.
• Sending secret flirtatious, sexual and romantic messages to someone other than your partner.
• Sexting, which involves sending and sharing sexually explicit images and videos to someone other than your partner.
• Developing an online relationship and a deep emotional connection with someone that threatens and undermines your main relationship.

The impact of digital infidelity

Just as heartbreaking as physical betrayal, digital infidelity can lead to anxiety, insecurity and deep trust issues. Often, it causes the breakdown of the primary relationship. Where this is not the case, the partner who has been cheated on can often become obsessed with monitoring the cheater’s behaviour and digital life, creating further strain on the relationship.

If a couple want to move on together from digital infidelity, it is important to establish why it occurred. Once the cause has been established, they can work together to address the issues that it has raised.

How to protect your relationship from digital infidelity

Tips for preventing digital infidelity include the following:

• Decide between you what is acceptable and non-acceptable types of online communication.
• Explore what you are both comfortable with and what would constitute crossing a line.
• Establish a set of shared boundaries on the understanding that if these are broken, it will undermine any trust in the relationship

If you are thinking about divorce or separation, we offer a no obligation 60-minute initial consultation for you to understand the impact on your specific family circumstances for £150 (incl. VAT). To arrange a meeting please call us on 01444 472700, email info@tisshawssolicitors.co.uk or complete the form below.