How to deal with an ex introducing a new partner to your child?

In the fallout from divorce and separation, tensions can run high. This is particularly the case where one partner has started a new relationship before the official end of the marriage and wants to introduce your child to their new partner.  Understandably, you may feel upset that your ex is introducing your child to somebody you do not know or trust.

Here we look at the issues around this problem and consider ways to minimise the impact and conflict this can cause.


Introducing a child to your ex’s new partner

If possible, it is important to have a frank and honest conversation with your ex about how you feel. Express all your concerns but also listen to their point of view. Generally, it is only advisable to introduce the child to the new partner when the relationship is serious and likely to endure, otherwise the child may end up even more confused and upset.

If you can agree on how and when the new partner is introduced, you can make a verbal agreement between the two of you. Alternatively, you can use dispute resolution services, including mediation and collaborative law to reach an agreement. Having something in writing can help to ensure everyone is clear about the arrangements. What’s more, a mediation session can also help you to both consider how you will co-parent your child in the future.


Issues around not letting your child meet your ex’s new partner

In all of this, the most important consideration is the child’s feelings and the impact that any additional conflict between their parents can have. If you stop the child from meeting your ex’s new partner without good reason, it may compromise the time they spend with your ex, particularly if your ex lives with their new partner. It could mean they are unable to stay with your ex which could cause further upset to your child. In this case, they may come to resent you for not letting them spend as much time as they would like with their other parent.


Reasons not to let an ex introduce your child to a new partner

The only valid reason which would stand up in a court of law to prevent your child meeting an ex’s new partner involves safeguarding. If you have specific concerns involving your child’s safety, such as the new partner is a drug addict, has a criminal record and history of violence or sexual offences, you may be able to convince a court to prevent them from having contact with your child. In these circumstances, you would need to consult a specialist family lawyer to help you navigate the legal process.

If your concerns are serious and you fear that your child is at risk, it is possible to apply for a Child Arrangements Order to grant you sole care of the child. Where one already exists, this can be varied, but you will need to have strong evidence that your child could be in danger and that it is in their best interests for you to have sole custody. In this instance, it is essential you take robust legal advice from a family lawyer.


We are specialist family lawyers, so if you are thinking about, or struggling with the issues surrounding divorce, separation, and child contact issues, we offer a no obligation 60-minute initial consultation for £100 (incl. VAT). This will give you the opportunity to receive legal advice relevant to your personal circumstances.

To book a consultation, please call us on 01444 472700, email or complete the form below.


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