How to minimise the stress of separation and divorce

It is widely recognised that going through the process of separation and divorce is one of the most stressful and challenging life events to cope with. You are likely to feel a difficult cocktail of emotions including anger, hostility, sadness, regret, fear and a deep sense of loss.

To help those struggling with the process we have put together some advice to support you and help to minimise the stress.

Get early legal advice

When separating and divorcing, each case is different and advice given by friends, family, and the internet, while well intended, may not apply to your personal circumstances. A chat with a qualified family lawyer will consider your specific situation and will be able to give you relevant legal advice. This will arm you with the information you need to make informed decisions moving forward.

Avoid unnecessary conflict

If you and your ex cannot talk calmly to each other, you could appoint a trusted friend to facilitate all necessary communication between you. If this is not possible, a session with a family mediator can help you both to find a way to discuss the issues at stake and reach interim agreements.

See things from your ex’s point of view

This can be difficult but if you can see the situation from each other’s point of view, it can help you both to gain a deeper perspective of the situation and pave the way for compromise.

Protect the children from hostility

Where children are involved, it is important to try to keep to their normal routine as much as possible. Family breakdown is a lot for children to deal with and it’s important to protect them from heated arguments with your ex. It is also important not to bad mouth each other to your children as it may make them feel they have to take sides. Throughout the process, reassure them that the split is not their fault, that they are deeply loved by you both and that they will continue to spend time with both of you.

Take your time

Although hard to believe, at some point your emotions will mellow and what feels raw and painful at the time, will become easier to live with. We would suggest not making any hasty decisions but taking the time to establish a new normal. After this, negotiations may be less stressful as you’ve both had a chance to reflect on the situation. Once you have both reached a place of acceptance that the relationship is over, the negotiations in terms of childcare, property and finances should be easier.



As a specialist firm of family lawyers, we have a wealth of experience in helping couples to separate and divorce as amicably as possible. To support those struggling with family breakdown, we offer an initial no obligation consultation for up to 60 minutes for a fixed fee of £100 (incl. VAT). At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at or complete the form below.

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