Why midlife and older women are choosing divorce

Written by Verity Eunson-Hickey

There are around 290 divorces granted each day in England and Wales and while the overall rate for divorce has stabilised in the UK, the latest figures from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) highlight several trends. These include:

• 42% of all UK marriages end in divorce
• 63% of all divorces are initiated by women.
• The most common age range for women to divorce is between the ages of 40 and 44 years old.
• The average length of a marriage is 12.7 years, however the largest category for divorce, are marriages of 30+ years.

The latest figures highlight that only 28% of couples currently apply jointly, which suggests that despite the introduction of ‘No Fault’ divorce which allows for joint applications, most people continue to apply alone.  

The figures indicate that it is both midlife and older women, rather than men, that initiate divorce. Here we explore some of the reasons behind this growing trend.

1. Why do midlife women initiate divorce?

a) Pressure of domestic, emotional, occupational and economic issues

While the personal reasons why midlife women start divorce proceedings are often a complex cocktail of domestic, emotional, occupational and economic stresses, the following factors can all play a part:

• Dealing with the stress of raising children
• Dealing with needy and ageing parents
• Juggling a stressful job with their caring responsibilities and commitments
• Dealing with the demands of their children’s schools
• Running a household and keeping on top of cleaning, laundry, shopping, cooking and admin
• The impact of menopause and perimenopause 
• Feeling unsupported by a husband who is ‘busy at work’

While everyone is subject to these pressures, it seems that despite the inroads made in gender equality, that the lion’s share of these tasks still falls to women. Often the stress of coping with multiple demands can mean that a married couple disengage from each other emotionally.

b) Reflective Big Birthdays

Another factor can be the reflection that follows a big birthday. Often reaching 40, 50 and 60 years old, means a time to reflect on one’s life, achievements, ambitions and hopes for the future. Unfortunately, this can lead to many people deciding that they no longer want to remain in their marriage.

c) Greater financial independence

Over previous decades, a greater emphasis on women’s education has led to increased career opportunities. Many women are now able to support themselves financially and no longer require the security of marriage for economic survival.

d) Greater control of the divorce process

Having said that, if a woman is at an economic disadvantage in the marriage, she may wish to start the divorce proceedings, so she feels more in control of the possible outcomes. It may also be that some men are so used to assigning ‘household admin’ jobs to their wives, such as holiday planning, that they urge them to sort out the divorce.

2. Why are older women more likely to choose divorce?

The rise of what has become known as the ‘silver splitters’ has been well documented in the press. The ONS figures support this, with marriages of over 30 years representing the single largest category of divorce statistics.

Again, while the reasons for this are highly personal, there are several factors that can motivate divorce at this age including:

• Longer life expectancy, where facing another 30 years of an unhappy marriage is not a welcome prospect.
• Less stigma than in the past, making divorce now socially acceptable and commonplace in a generation who grew up when divorce was rare and shameful.
• Financial means, as an older couple are likely to have long-held property, pensions, investments and savings, which allow both to lead comfortable independent lives.
• Increased expectations as people now demand more from their retirement and their relationships than in the past.
• The impact of an ‘empty nest’ which can give rise to a realisation that the marital relationship is no longer what it was and that the children no longer need the parents to provide a joint home. 

Whatever the reasons for the divorce, it’s important that all women at any stage of life, take advice if they are considering separation so that their financial position is appropriately protected.  

If you are struggling with issues arising from separation and divorce, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £150 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at info@tisshawssolicitors.co.uk or complete the form below.