Am I ready to divorce?

While all relationships have their ups and downs, the decision to divorce is one of the most important you will make. You might be caught in a Do I? or Don’t I? spiral of ever-changing thoughts. During this time, it can be helpful to see the decision to part as a process. In this way it gives you both the time and space to really consider if the relationship is over or if you both have the appetite to try and save it.

Common reasons people decide to split up

• You feel unsafe and there is an abusive element to the relationship
• There are addictions issues
• One of you has had or is having an affair
• You are blaming each other without taking any personal responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship
• You have lost both trust and respect for each other
• Neither of you have any desire to try to repair the relationship
• There is a lack of emotional and/or physical intimacy in the relationship
• You have stopped communicating with each other
• You do not share any common ground on big issues
• You both have unmet needs within the relationship

The decision-making process

Consider all the reasons why, along with the consequences of splitting up, so you are prepared for the actual divorce to become reality. Without going through this process, it can be easy to stay trapped in a cycle of blame and anger against your ex, so even after the divorce is finalised, it is hard to let go of the pain and sadness and be able to move on.

We would always recommend a consultation with an experienced family lawyer at an early stage in the decision-making process. This will help you understand the legal position specific to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

Useful questions to ask yourself

During the decision-making process, some of the questions which can help you to clarify your feelings, include the following:

• Do you still have feelings for your partner?
• Are you ready to split or is this a wakeup call?
• Are you both ready to accept responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship?
• Are you making an emotionally reactive decision or do you believe your decision is based on a rational, reasonable and mature thought process?
• What are your future hopes for your life post-divorce?

Saving a marriage

If you both decide that you would like to save the marriage, we would suggest you seek professional help with couples’ counselling and in some cases, individual counselling to help you work through any issues that could jeopardise repairing the relationship. When both of you are committed to making the relationship work and are willing to take responsibility for why it has broken down, there is every chance that the marriage can be saved.

If you are struggling with issues arising from separation and divorce, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £100 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at info@tisshawssolicitors.co.uk or complete the form below.