Can a marriage survive the betrayal of cheating?

The shock and pain of discovering your partner has been cheating can feel overwhelming. While initial reactions may focus on divorce or the need for revenge, it is possible to rebuild trust if both partners are committed to repairing and restoring the marriage.

Why do people cheat?

While the circumstances around infidelity are highly personal, it is important for the person who has been cheated on to understand that it is not their fault. They are not responsible for their partner’s behaviour.

Some common reasons for cheating include the following:

• Poor self-esteem and the need for external validation from someone other than your partner.
• Emotional disconnection and an inability to discuss emotionally intimate issues and needs.
• Unmet emotional and/or physical needs.
• Ease of opportunity.
• Lack of commitment to the primary relationship.
• Desire for sexual variety and excitement.

The nature of an affair

Whether an affair is physical or emotional, any type of infidelity is a betrayal of trust. In many cases, an emotional affair can feel more damaging than a one-night stand.

For any relationship to begin to survive, the cheating partner must end the affair and completely cut contact with their emotional and/or physical lover.

The cheating partner must also be prepared to accept full responsibility for their actions and show full commitment to rebuilding.

Can the marriage survive?

If the cheating partner has a pattern of deceit, refuses to end the affair or continues to blame their partner for their actions, the long-term prospects for the marriage do not look good.

What’s more, an affair can expose deeper flaws in the relationship, such as a lack of emotional compatibility, an inability to communicate your needs to each other and a general lack of trust.

For those dealing with such a situation, the first thing to consider is whether the behaviour was out of character. Sit down and talk openly and honestly about what happened with no judgement or open anger if possible.

This will give you some idea of whether it is time to move on or whether you both have the commitment and desire to rebuild trust. In this instance, seeking professional help from a marriage guidance counsellor or therapist can be invaluable.

We would also suggest taking early advice from a family lawyer who can explain how a divorce would impact your specific circumstances. This will give you the information you need to make informed decisions about moving on.

If you are struggling with issues arising from separation and divorce, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £150 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at info@tisshawssolicitors.co.uk or complete the form below.