How to survive a post-divorce Christmas

If you are recently separated or divorced and dreading the festive season, we’ve put together some ideas to help you navigate what can be one of the most challenging times of year.

Spending the day as a family

If you have an amicable relationship with your ex and neither of you want to be alone on Christmas day, you could call a truce and spend the day together with the children. However, do be aware that this maybe confusing for younger children and you will need to brief any extended family joining you that you are spending the day together to hopefully enjoy a Happy Christmas. Do also be wary of alcohol-fuelled recriminations and accusations.

Splitting the day

If you are splitting childcare between you, it might be a good idea to mark the changeover with a shared family activity. This could involve something like a walk or a board game or even a present unwrapping session, if you have continued to buy joint presents.

Dealing with alone time

Inevitably, there will be times during the festive season that you will be or will feel uncomfortably alone. This is when the pain and heartache will feel at its worst. The sense of loss for family life is hard to cope with. Try to remember that it is just another day and if you’re spending it alone, try to indulge yourself with your favourite type of self-care, whether that’s food, music, movies, or a long soak in the bath.

It’s important to remember that images of other people’s perfect Christmases are rarely a reflection of the truth, everyone has issues, challenges and problems, so try not to compare.

It can also be helpful to start thinking about creating new traditions for yourself and the children or to hook up with other friends who may also be alone and dreading the Big Day.

Focus on positive small moments

Try not to feel overwhelmed by planning the ‘perfect’ day which will make you feel under added pressure. Instead, focus on small moments such as playing a game together, watching a film, baking some biscuits or going for a walk. These moments offer a chance for shared connection, which is far more meaningful and satisfying than elaborate and expensive arrangements.

Whatever challenges the festive season brings, we hope you find a positive way through. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas & warmest wishes for the New Year!

If you are struggling with issues arising from separation and divorce, we offer a no obligation initial consultation for a fixed fee of £100 (incl. VAT), for up to one hour. At this meeting, we can advise you on all the issues relating to your personal circumstances, allowing you to make informed decisions moving forward.

To book an appointment please call 01444 472700, email us at info@tisshawssolicitors.co.ukor complete the form below.