The benefits and drawbacks of the ‘Quiet’ Divorce

The concept of the ‘quiet’ or ‘silent’ divorce has gained much media attention of late. Here we examine what constitutes a ‘quiet’ divorce, along with the perceived benefits and potential drawbacks.

What is a ‘quiet’ divorce?

The term ‘quiet divorce’ refers to a situation where a couple have disengaged emotionally from each other but continue to live together without a formal separation. They continue to share a home life, financial arrangements, social life and in some cases, may even choose to holiday together.

What are the perceived benefits of a ‘quiet’ divorce?

For couples who choose this path the benefits can include:

• Financial stability.
• Family and household stability for any children living at home.
• Retaining the tax benefits of being married.
• The absence of any conflict or confrontation in maintaining a ‘quiet’ life.
• Privacy and anonymity, which can be an issue for high profile couples.

What are the potential drawbacks of a ‘quiet’ divorce?

While couples who choose to ‘quietly’ divorce may believe this is a route that suits them and their lifestyle, there are many complications which can mean a ‘quiet’ divorce is merely postponing the conflict and pain of separation.

These include:

• The possibility of one party meeting someone new causing emotional issues.
• If the couple eventually divorce it complicates how the assets are divided, because only assets accrued during the marriage can be included in the matrimonial pot and those generated after separation are not. This means the date of ‘separation’ can have a big impact on a financial settlement and lead to much conflict if one party contests this.
• The impact on the children who will be sensitive in picking up on the change in atmosphere, leaving them confused, anxious and uncertain as to how the future will unfold.
• If one party dies normally the remaining spouse inherits all the assets. However, if the couple have made wills which do not leave their assets to each other, a remaining spouse will have greater rights to challenge the will.

How to protect yourself within a ‘quiet’ divorce

If you choose the practicalities of a ‘quiet’ divorce there are ways to mitigate the disadvantages. The best way is to draw up a Separation Agreement. This will set boundaries regarding your living, financial and parenting arrangements and commitments. You can find out more about Separation Agreements here https://www.tisshawssolicitors.co.uk/what-are-the-benefits-of-a-separation-agreement/

It is much fairer on you both legally, emotionally and financially, to have  a transparent, clear and constructive Order if you choose to continue living your lives together, without going through the legal process of divorce.

For those wishing to avoid conflict in defining the terms of such an Order, we would suggest mediation and collaborative law as methods that can help you to reach an agreement with minimal hostility and acrimony.

If you are struggling with the issues around divorce or separation, we offer a no obligation 60-minute initial consultation for you to understand the impact on your specific family circumstances for £150 (including. VAT). To arrange a meeting, please call us on 01444 472700, email info@tisshawssolicitors.co.uk or complete the form below.